There’s this crippling fear that over takes you when you think you’re losing someone

Your heart stops and jumpstarts with the speed of a hummingbird’s wings
Every bad thought you’ve ever had about yourself becomes law and the ultimate reason why you’re doomed to die alone
too broken
too scarred
to love anyone much less yourself

I used to bathe in that fear
I used to drown in that insecurity
until I’d allow the depression to swallow me whole

I began to live for myself then, and found the will to fight for my sanity
strength pulled me out of the deep and onto solid ground
I stood on my own
and grappled with the fear until I came out victorious

but the demons are never too far away
with horrendous smiles to remind me that they are forever waiting for my toes to slip into the murky depths
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